The following are excerpts of on-going email updates from 1998 to 2000 from Phil and Gina's cancer journey.
Click to read Part I, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Parts VI and VII
Dear Friends and Bravehearts!
It looks like Phil will go for a consultation with the surgeon on Monday July 6th at 4:00. At that time he'll explain the procedures he'll be doing on Phil Tuesday the 7th at Leonard Morse.
They need to do out-patient surgery to place the "porta-cath" and "J-tube" for chemo and food supplements. During that time, the doctor will also perform a "mini-lap" which is a way to actually look around first hand to confirm what the CT scan saw. He does this through the same 2-3" incision he does for the J-tube.
After that, the radiologist will see Phil before Friday the 10th to "map" where they are going to point the radiation. Then treatment begins full-bore on Monday the 13th. Phil will be admitted for 5 days, then sent home with portable chemo, and will make daily trips for radiation therapy.
These next weeks, we'll really need your prayer to hold up. The treatment is at best -- unpleasant. For me, I suspect it will be difficult to watch him go through it. We kind of feel like we're in the "land of in-between" -- the now and the not yet, if you know what I mean. Again, it means the world to be held up by your prayers. Thanks for being part of such an incredible team of loving friends. We love you.
Hi Everyone,
When Phil and I met with the surgeon who will be placing the J-tube and porta cath today, he mentioned that while he's in there, he will try to get a first hand look to see if what he thinks he saw on the CT scan is accurate.
This is an opportunity to see how God wants to work this all out. Phil has received tons of prayer, so we of course are hoping that the tumor has already begun to shrink -- or even disappear!
Emotionally speaking, Phil and I are daring to hope, but trying to brace for disappointment. Please continue to pray against fear, and that we would look God in the eyes through it all. Also, this procedure is much longer than we thought. Surgery will take about 2 hours, and they'll keep Phil there for another 4 or 5 hours to be sure everything's all right. So we're looking at a long day -- 8:30 a.m. arrive at the hospital, 11:00 a.m. surgery, in 'til about 1, then home around 5 or 6:00 p.m.
Thanks again for your steadfast hearts. We'll let you know how it works out.
Dear, dear friends,
It went very well today. Both ports went in without a hitch. However, Phil was in enough pain to keep him in the hospital overnight, but he'll be dismissed first thing tomorrow morning.
The really wonderful thing is this: the original CT scan had shown the tumor in Phil's stomach had actually grown around veins and arteries. However, when the doctor checked while he was putting in the J-tube, he found out it's not so! He was genuinely surprised, and for the first time was actually encouraging to us! This is a huge turn-around -- from an inoperable tumor, to the surgeon now consulting the oncologist to see if they shouldn't do the surgery right away!
Phil and I are simply choosing to believe that all the prayer and warfare has pushed the tumor back. Be encouraged! Here's a funny thing -- when they were wheeling Phil down to surgery this morning, I walked away feeling scared. But as I walked out of the building I noticed a song running in my mind that I'd written back in '87. The lyrics go something like:
"Into Your presence, Lord we come singing
Dancing and leaping into Your arms
Abba, we love You
You make our hearts sing
You take our cares away"
After catching myself roll my eyes at the absurdity of the moment (o' woman of faith!), I realized I hadn't given that song a second thought since the day I wrote it 11 years ago. So all the fear left, and I was able to go home and enjoy some one-on-one time with Rachel. It was a great moment to get that call from the surgeon!
So what's next? Well, we need wisdom to know how to go from here. There are a few options that we didn't seem to have before, and are desperate for God's clear direction. We're a little reluctant to march right into surgery, but don't have all the information yet. Please pray for clarity and wisdom.
So, you wonderful bunch of prayer warriors -- PRESS IN!!! God has moved on our behalf because of you. Pray all the harder now. The other song I had when Phil and I were walking into the hospital this morning was:
"Step by step we're moving onward Little by little we're gaining ground Every step is a powerful weapon Strongholds come tumbling down, down, DOWN!!!"
You have to understand -- at the time, our steps were filled more with dread than faith. God is speaking His heart to us, and clearly showing His mighty power. Thank you again, with all of our hearts!
Well friends,
We're fastening our seatbelts now -- Phil is heading for the hospital on Monday to begin the chemo/radiation treatments as planned. We had been praying for consensus between all three doctors, and yesterday we got the word from our oncologist that everyone heartily agreed to proceed as planned. As you know, we were pretty uncomfortable with the thought of surgery now, even after the good report from the surgeon. So we're very much at peace with the current course we're on. Thank you for praying. The decision was resoundingly clear.
At this point, Phil is still in considerable pain from the J-tube surgery -- for example, it's excruciating to sneeze! So please pray for a quick recuperation and a release from the pain of surgery.
Also, after meeting with all the doctors this week, they explained in some detail what the side effects of upcoming treatment are. So specifically pray that God would defy the norms in regard to:
Also pray that God would sustain us emotionally through it all. We need His presence now more than ever. Even though this has been going on for weeks now, I feel very much like we are beginning it. That song: "the victory is the Lord's; we've just begun to fight..." comes to mind! Your prayers are a powerful weapon against the enemy's plans, and a continual source of strength, encouragement and healing for us both. How can we thank you?!! We love you so much.
Dear friends:
Wow -- what a ride!
Phil's not exactly off to a banner start with the chemo/radiation. So far, since they started him so late on Monday, he definitely has to stay another whole day. He's also been very weak and sick to his stomach. To say the least, it has been difficult for all of us.
Please continue to pray against the side effects, and also for wisdom in talking things through with the kids. They've never seen him sick before. So far, they seem to be holding up OK. They have all expressed some fears in their own ways, but pray for Phil at every meal and before bedtime. They know God is big and strong!
This is an intense fight. I strongly encourage you all to pray for each other and for all those who are committed to praying for our family. Live in that place of worship. Warfare is up. This is not going to be an easy win, but we believe it will be a WIN. I pray that God will strengthen you by His mighty power, rich love and endless mercy. And I pray you will know His strength in your weakness, and find blessing and rest as you fight from that place under His wings. God' richest blessings, and our thanks…
Hey all you faithful friends!
Phil's home -- as a matter of fact, he got home earlier than expected on Saturday. It was a real boost for all of us. He's moving a little slow, but Phil is extremely happy to be over with the first round of treatment.
It was much more difficult than we were expecting. So, we're not sure what to think about the upcoming 3 weeks. During the hospital stay, Phil received approximately 2 liters of 2 types of chemo every 22 hours. With the belt pump home set-up, he'll be receiving the equivilent of 2 teaspoons a day of one chemo drug. He'll also keep getting radiation 5 days a week with weekends off..
The big thing at the moment is keeping up his strength. While he ate mostly cereal for breakfast, lunch and dinner at the hospital, the night he came home he ate a hamburger! He's working hard to keep his caloric intake up with things like chocolate Hagen Daaz (poor thing!), but he can't eat large quantities.
Over these next few weeks Phil hopes to return to work at some level. He's coined a new phrase that he wants to hang on his office wall:
"A bad day at the office is better than a good day at the hospital."
Please pray that he can go on working. The anti-nausea medicine is causing Phil to be kind of antsy. He paces a lot, and his mind races each night as he tries to sleep. Of course neither one of us will get any sleep if this keeps up! Please pray for rest, and a return to Phil's easy-going self. Thank you dear friends. Talk to you soon!
Dear friends in the fight,
It's been nearly a week now since Phil has gotten out of the hospital, and it's taken that long for him to rebound from the type of chemotherapy he had. There's one drug called "cisplatinum" that is THE most nauseating chemo drug out there. Phil got a megadose of that in the hospital, and is still on anti-nausea drugs to get over it. But thank God, he's not having the side effect of the restlessness and bad dreams he was getting before from the anti-nausea stuff.
We're told that the chemo in the belt pump should cause no nasty side effects, but we are concerned about the ongoing radiation. Because Phil is being radiated in his stomach and esophagus, it greatly affects his desire and ability to eat. So far he has lost a little weight.
I guess the prayer focus now is about seeing a return to a good level of physical strength for Phil, that he would have an increase in appetite and ability to eat "mass quantities" of food (!), to pray against all side effects from treatment, and for our family's emotional health and connectedness. We have been OK. Of course there are days. Of course it is still difficult, it is still cancer, but as Rachel (our oldest) said to me yesterday, "it's just where we are now, and we need to accept it." These are hard enough lessons for adults to learn, but when you're talking about kids, you just need to trust that God has it all under control, and He will meet them where we can not. The kids are amazingly resilient, and in their own way of just being themselves, helps bring sanity to this insane situation! They are gifts from God. Please continue to pray for them. Thank you all so much, with all my heart,
Dear Friends,
This is definitely the hardest thing we've had to endure as a family.
Phil was admitted to the ICU today for low blood counts, possible infection, severe chills without a fever, dehydration, and on and on. It looks like he broke the record with side effects. Honestly, we are discouraged.
He'll be in the hospital at least overnight while they get his fluids back up, and counter any infection. Once again, we are deep in need of your prayers. Pray for wisdom for the doctors, for endurance in this time of suffering for us, and for anything else the Lord puts on your heart. As always, we'll continue to keep you posted.
Dear Friends,
Thank you so much for all your loving, prayerful support. Your notes of encouragement, songs, and e-mails are something we look forward to getting each day. (Yes, one person left a song on our answering machine!)
Just to let you in on the latest -- Phil is still in the hospital. His white blood cell count bottomed out at 500. It did climb today to about 1500, but the doctors are looking to triple that before even thinking about resuming chemo. Phil has also been running a fever due to an infection they think has simply been caused by his own bacteria. With a white blood cell count so low, his body can't fight off what our bodies fight off as a matter of fact every day when we are healthy.
He has also developed a case of the hiccups. We didn't think much of that when we were reading through the literature the doctors initially gave us about chemo side effects. It seemed so insignificant. But these are not ordinary hiccups. They kind of roll through him, sometimes leaving him gasping for air. It's kind of like getting the wind knocked out of you. It started this morning, and was still happening when I saw him at 8 pm last night! It's very distressing. Please pray that they would stop.
There are a number of things to pray for in addition. To get Phil out of the hospital, several things need to happen: 1) his blood cell count has to come up, 2) the fevers must go, 3) the diarrhea must stop, 4) he has to be able to eat again and intake plenty of fluids, and 5) he has to be able to tolerate the tube feedings as he has continued to lose weight. He's had mouth sores and has had a hard time eating.
As you can imagine, with all this (and too much more to mention), Phil is at a real emotional low. So please pray for the Lord to break into all the distress, with comfort and hope. And pray for endurance. It looks like he won't be getting out of the hospital until next week sometime.
I took the kids to see him last night. It was difficult for the kids to see him that way, but they hadn't seen him at all this week. None of us expected the hospital stay that started on Monday to still be continuing on. I think the severity of it all came crashing in on them last night. Still, they all said they were just happy to be with him -- even if he was feeling awful. In a way, it was a good thing, if you know what I mean.
Anyway, I deeply appreciate all your prayers, and the countless ways you have reached out to our family. Through it all, we have felt very cared for and not so alone. It means so much. As Phil puts it, "This is does so much more than medicine!"
Back to TopClick to read Part I, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Parts VI and VII