The following are excerpts of on-going email updates from 1998 to 2000 from Phil and Gina's cancer journey.
Click to read Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Parts VI and VII
Dear Friends,
Just a quick personal note to thank you all for praying so hard. The surgery went very well, and while I am extremely tired, the worst of the pain seems to have passed and I should be on my feet by next week.
The biopsy report, while incomplete, did show that all my lymph nodes were clear, so I shouldn't need any chemo (BIG thank you God!). It also showed that the "dcis" that they were able to see in 3 spots on mammogram, was in actuality all throughout my breast. It just reaffirms to me that the whole thing is God's grace to spare my life.
I am discovering things about God's mercy and depths of His love for me that I had not previously even touched on -- also just how determined He is and how jealous He is for me. It is both terrifying, and the deepest comfort I have ever known. I have found Him in this dark place even though I had my doubts along the way!
Mike Bickle was talking about the end times once, and he said that it wouldn't be possible for those of us who know Jesus to be deceived and led astray when the Great Deceiver shows himself in the last days. I didn't really buy it back then because I was looking at my own weakness and bent toward taking the path of least resistance. But now I am secure in my soul and in my deepest heart, that God is able -- even in great darkness -- to both make Himself known and to reassure us that He is strong and that He loves us. We are His forever, and this is a great peace.
So much for the short note -- I'm rambling! Forgive me. There is so much going on inside that it just starts leaking out! I love you all. Pray for the week ahead. Phil goes in for surgery Thursday the 8th at 9 a.m. It's a rough road, but God will meet us there, and your prayers will carry us in. God's richest blessings on you all.
Dear Friends,
Just thinking of a few things to pray as Phil goes into surgery tomorrow --
As you know, he's scheduled for a 9 a.m. surgery which could take anywhere from 4-6 hours. Of course pray for great wisdom for the surgeon Dr. Goodman. He has countless decisions to make once he's in, and will need grace for skill, focus, physical stamina, and wisdom to choose rightly at every bend in the road.
Also, pray that Phil can go into surgery with "the peace that passes understanding." And I have to ask on Phil's behalf his first desire -- that like the angel that stopped the hand of Moses from slaughtering Isaac on that altar -- the angel of the Lord would show up in the operating room and tell Dr. Goodman to "put down that knife!" and heal Phil on the spot. We still are confident that if that's not in God's plan, that He is more than able to do more than we can ask or even imagine. (Eph. 3:20-21)
A friend I love and trust assured me that he did not sense death at this time. We have not sensed it since the early days of the discovery process, but never-the-less we want to be proactive and ask you to join us in praying against the spirit of death -- that it would have NO place here, not one bit!
AND last, but by no means least -- our kids. Pray for their hearts as they now watch their dad go into surgery. It's a day we've all dreaded at some level. Pray for God's presence to keep them in peace.
An ideal result for us (other than the angel of the Lord thing!) would be that Dr. Goodman is able to remove ALL cancer, that he would only have to take the very bottom of Phil's esophagus, that the spot on his liver would be nothing, and that some of Phil's stomach could be spared. Also pray for a speedy recovery and a short memory of the severity of the pain.
Thank you all again. We'll send something out as soon as we can to let you know how it all worked out. God's richest blessings on you all, and our deep love.
Dear, dear Friends,
Whew!! That's mostly what we are feeling right now -- great relief, filled with thanksgiving to be on the other side of surgery.
Phil is still pretty out of it with the effects of the anesthesia slowly wearing off, and the morphine drip kicking in. He's still in considerable pain despite the pain meds, but the hospital staff is making him as comfortable as possible. He'll be in the intensive care unit for a while longer.
I know Willo sent a note off to say how surgery went, but just to say again -- Dr. Goodman spent 6 hours with Phil. He got all the cancer he could see and found no evidence of spread to anywhere else. He took all the gross lymph nodes of the stomach and they are being biopsied. I'm not sure what happens if they are not clear of cancer, but we'll tell you as we find out ourselves. The entire distal stomach is intact, which is the part attached to the large intestines. Even in a blur of anesthesia, Phil gave me a very sweet smile when he found out he got to keep a third of his stomach! (Thank you Jesus!!)
One of the difficulties in surgery was the fact that all the previous radiation treatments caused the tumor in Phil's esophagus to adhere to just about everything near it. Dr. Goodman meticulously removed the diseased parts, but the healing of this area will take a little longer because of the adhesions. Presently, it hurts a lot for Phil to take a deep breath because of all the work Dr. Goodman did there, and he has been running a fever -- they say that the big hurdles for the moment are that Phil be able to inhale and exhale deeply, and to muster a healthy cough to get rid of what's in there. They think this is what's causing the fever. Please pray for wisdom for the medical staff and for Phil to be able to do those things he needs to.
All in all, Phil is OK. A tender thing for me to witness is the gratefulness in Phil's heart. The mercy of God is near him, and even though he's slurring his words, he is worshipping deeply. I keep thinking Phil's talking to me, but as I get closer, he's praising God -- rejoicing at all he's been spared, and that he's on the other side. No more dread -- just the expectant hope of recovery and LIFE!!
You guys have walked a long road with us, and there are no words to tell you how thankful we are. We are so thrilled to be able to report that the very things we asked you to pray for at the end of our last update have all been granted. We went into this with a mountain of uncertainty, and come out with no guarantees. BUT -- we know that God alone reigns, and all His ways are good and perfect. His love and mercy endure forever!
So, dear friends continue to pray through with us to the end of this. Please pray that the lymph nodes are clear, and for a full recovery. My final pathology report was that I'm cancer-free! We want Phil's to come back the same. It's a mighty declaration to come out of this with! Thank you so much. All our love,
Dear Friends,
Just wanted to let you know that Phil got out of the ICU on Sunday morning. Since then, he's been slowly getting over a few hurdles -
-- the fever broke on Sunday morning
-- his digestive system has "woken up" again (it shuts down for days after
the type of surgery he had)
-- Now he is being fed intravenously and by j-tube (direct to the intestines)
He still hasn't actually swallowed anything -- not even water. He couldn't do this until his digestive system was working again. So tomorrow he goes in for a test where he'll have to drink some kind of liquid with a dye in it while they x-ray and "check for leaks" at all the suture cites. Once he's past this, he can slowly introduce liquids, then "soft foods" and then more as tolerated.
We're not sure how much longer he'll be in the hospital. He's quite sick of being there, as you can well imagine! But hopefully he'll be released by next week at the latest. We heard that initial pathology reports "look good" but won't have the final report 'til some time this week.
All in all, pray Phil gets over these last hurdles as his digestive tract re-learns what to do with food! AND continue to pray the final pathology report shows he's cancer-free!
Hey you wild group of praying friends!
Listen to this! -- The pathology report for Phil came back completely negative! So NO MORE CHEMO! This was the last big hurdle. Phil looked up at me after the doctor who gave the report left and said, "Now the dread is GONE!" Our understatement of the year is -- we are elated!
Not only that, but remember that question mark with the liver "spot?" The oncologist said she's not even the least bit concerned about it. She said the cancer marker would not have gone down if there was something brewing in Phil's liver. She said more than likely it was just a kind of a popped vein that has now gone back in place.
And, there's more! -- the tumor that was all over his middle and upper stomach was down to the size of a golf ball by the time they removed it! I know the chemo and radiation contributed to this result, but don't ever underestimate the power of your fervent prayers. There are some people who get the same treatment who see little change in their condition. So, "Thank you Jesus for Your healing touch, and for a great team of intercessors and doctors!"
This has been an amazing trek. Not a week has gone by since this all started in June that someone we don't even know personally has either e-mailed, written a note, or showed up in person just to tell us they have been praying. Entire churches all across the globe stop to pray for this Phil and Gina they never even met! Only God can do that. The Church may be a long way from the Bride as she is in Revelation, but during this time, we have all come a lot closer to being transformed into that Bride. Can't you just feel the pleasure of God? We are in awe -- of it all.
Where are the words to say "thank you?" Nearly every time I sit at this computer to write you all, I wind up crying because I can't even touch with words what I feel in my heart. You are an indescribable treasure in our lives, and we don't know where we would have been today without you. Surely, the Lord is good and His mercy endures forever. He has restored our lives and everything He has privileged us to touch -- all in response to a heart cry He placed in you for us as you were faithful to pray. Thank you dear friends. You are our joy!
We love you all like crazy,
Dear Friends
Thought we'd check in with you all, and let you know how it's going.
Recovery for me (Gina) has been steady. Not much pain anymore -- just a bout with bronchitis of all things! It's more a nuisance than anything, and I just wonder if it isn't some kind of cheap shot from the enemy on his way out. The boys have been on antibiotics as well with coughs and sinus infections.
In many ways, while the fight with cancer is over, the real fight is just starting. Now it's time to rebuild. The way Phil puts it is this: it's like we've just made it through the hurricane, but everywhere we look is evidence of the destruction of the old -- of what we knew. But in a sense it has been a cleansing -- shaking what can be shaken. Now is the time for courage and strength to build again. And frankly, it looks kind of daunting after all the energy we put into surviving the "storm."
I (Phil) have been having a tough time adjusting to life with new plumbing! Eating is a real job now, taking great care to eat the right things VERY slowly, many times a day. It's definitely a challenge! It will be a chore just to maintain my weight, let alone gain some weight -- not exactly what I want to spend my days thinking about. Hopefully in time, it will become more second-nature. Of course God could always re-grow my stomach!
Going back to the hurricane analogy -- what's been a frustration for all of us is now that we're on the other side, we have to re-define "normal." Things will never be the same. Even the kids wish we could "just get back to normal," and it's hard for them to watch us recuperate. But God is big, and we want to invite you into praying us "over the hump."
Once in a while we kind of pop out of that overwhelmed place, and everywhere we looks seems to hold wonderful opportunity. When you rebuild, it's all new. And in our heart of hearts we know this new land is full of promise, "a land flowing with milk and honey," a place of God's destiny for us -- "the joy set before us."
As God re-defines our lives, we'll let you know how it goes. We'd just love to be able to share with you what exactly this "joy set before us" turns out to be. Again, thank you dear friends for standing in this fight with us. We are learning more and more just how vital it is to stand with each other through tough times. We encourage you all to make every effort to reach out in times of need. Don't go it alone! It is our deepest prayer that you are all well, and falling more and more in love with Jesus every day. All our love,
Dear Friends,
It's been an intense few weeks for us. Phil is feeling better, and able to eat now without pain. It's greatly improved his outlook, and it seems like the new definition of "normal" will be tolerable. He should be able to gain some weight now!
I'm recovering well from surgery, but this bronchitis won't leave. It's developed into a very naggy asthsmatic thing with a new cold on top of it. My resistance probably isn't what it could be just yet. The other thing is that I've had a condition develop over the last year and a half -- probably some type of colitis or other colon-related issue. They want to do more tests, but I'll most likely wait 'til the new year. I guess the point is, I still feel the need for prayer covering regarding my health.
In fact we're feeling pretty vulnerable as a family. In the aftermath of surgery, some of our kids have begun to show signs of the stress. One has been getting severe migraines. Our youngest is having a great deal of difficulty in school, and will be going through some behavioral testing in the next month. Both of these things are going to require long-term fighting to overcome. I think the lengthy recovery period has been just as stressful for the kids as the time of sickness was. The one good thing about all this, is that it keeps us talking and united as a family. I guess it's something we really need to own deeply. AND our kids will learn to be fighters out of this.
So it's been quite an action-packed few weeks, but as I put it with a friend recently -- it's like this intense season of being crushed didn't end with getting rid of the cancer. With each new hardship, the fire just keeps getting hotter. We are learning to try not to squirm out, but stay put 'til God has His way with us. While we may be uncertain as to what God is up to, we trust He has our best interest at heart and He knows what He's doing! All we know is that we're feeling pretty "toasty" and eager to be the best students God ever had!
You have endured many months with us in prayer. If you are up to the task, we would be deeply appreciative of your persevering in prayer with us. On the other hand, if any of you want to be taken off the e-mail list, just let me know. In either case, you each have our awe-filled thanks. Grace, grace, grace.....
God's richest blessings on each of your wonderful heads, and on your families!
Dear Friends,
Thinking about thanksgiving, and I thought of you all.
Our family has a lot to be thankful for this year. Phil is getting better by leaps and bounds. He may not be moving "faster than a speeding bullet or able to leap tall buildings in a single bound," BUT he is kind of like Superman -- Just 6 weeks out of surgery, and he's able to eat just three big meals in a single day. The doctors thought he'd be doing 6-8 small meals a day for the rest of his life, but Phil keeps testing and pushing the limits. It's been pretty amazing -- like he's not supposed to be able to tolerate concentrated sugar, but he ate a piece of apple pie with nothing bad happening! Except for being a little low on energy, he feels great.
Jamie who was getting 2-3 migraines a week, has only gotten one since I asked you to pray. Fear has lifted off her, and she's back to her carefree self. I went into Matt's class to observe his behavior, and the teacher couldn't get over how well-behaved he was. She said I had a "calming influence" on him. I just laughed. The point is that he IS able to control himself. I'll be going in two mornings a week to help out for a while. We'll still go ahead with a screening. If there is something to diagnose, at least we'll know. All and all, we are very encouraged.
SO friends -- have a wonderful thanksgiving. Our worship this week is intensified because of you. All our love,
Back to TopClick to read Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Parts VI and VII