When my husband Phil got cancer, life as we knew it came to a screeching halt. He was a gentle man, a lover of music and an excellent guitarist, composer, flutist and sax player. We had a great marriage, full of love and healing. I'd been raised in a violent home, my mom divorcing my father when I was 5. I made inner vows to never marry or have kids. When I met Phil, everything changed, and it was instant head-over-heels in love. We never looked back. Ten years and four kids later, we were off and running in a beautiful life. The violence and abandonment of my past began to shrink in the light of Phil's gentle, consistent love.
In June of '98 Phil was diagnosed with stomach cancer. In August of '98 I was diagnosed with breast cancer, which of course sent shock waves through our family and friends. It felt like we were suddenly, without warning, air-dropped into a vast wilderness with no light. There was no way out. We didn't know what hit us.
My cancer was called "DCIS" which meant it was contained. After surgery, I was given a clean bill of health, and have remained cancer-free for the last 7 years. Phil's cancer had already metastasized by the time doctors found it, and 10 months after his surgery, it came back with a vengeance. He passed away in February of 2000.
Recovery for my family has been slow and hard. Counseling helped. The Children's Room was extremely helpful to my younger son. My church community was wonderful, making meals, taking care of the kids, providing for our needs. To this day, this beautiful community of friends continues to be there for us - a gift for which I am extremely grateful.
I felt compelled after a few years, to do another CD. I'd released one with Phil back in '97 called The Wild Frontier. Now I had other kinds of songs brewing inside, and one morning penned a tune called Some Peace Again. I released a CD of the same name in early 2005. "Some Peace Again" has been one of those songs that seems to be especially meaningful to people in recovery from various addictions, or who have suffered some kind of loss. It means a lot to me personally to be able to do something that helps someone else - thus this web site.
Somehow, I hope you can benefit from my journey. I didn't think I would find it, but now I know that finding some peace again is possible. It is with great yearning that I hope you too can find deep, abiding peace in your life as well.
Gina has been a pastor with the Association of Vineyard Churches for the last 12 years. She has currently undertaken a new role as the senior pastor of a new church in Wellesley, MA called The Wellesley Vineyard. Gina was married for 22 years before being widowed in February 2000, and has 4 beautiful children ages 15-25.
It is said that the eyes are the windows of the soul. As it turned out my eyes were more than that; they were the key to the physical condition of my heart. Until late August of 2003 I considered myself a healthy active woman. But a severe migraine, causing me to lose sight in my right eye for 20 minutes, stopped me in my tracks. It turned out to be a stroke, brought on by a defective aortic heart valve. I underwent extensive surgery that kept me hospitalized for a total of a month. It took me a year to fully recover and feel like myself again, although different.
Until now, the loss of both my father and mother had been the most difficult thing I'd ever had to endure. I still miss them dearly. The feeling of being orphaned left me feeling cast adrift. I also had the challenge of raising 4 children while trying to deal with my own loss. I'd always been strong and healthy, so discovering I had a congenital heart defect was quite a shock. I could hear the doctor's words, but how could it be that my life was being threatened by this thing?! My head was spinning as doctors ran various tests in order to get me to surgery quickly. Surgery seemed to be over before I fully realized what was happening to me.
When it was all over I was left with post traumatic stress, fear and depression, in addition to the physical recovery. It was overwhelming. There was no one to talk to as I was very young to have this type of surgery. Many questions about post symptoms and recovery went unanswered. I overcame months of daily multiple migraine headaches, slowly regaining my sight and memory while undergoing rehabilitation to gain my strength back. I am still living with some physical limitations because of the mechanical heart valve which can cause great frustration. Migraines continue, although less in number, which is a disappointment to say the least. The medical community thought they would disappear once I had surgery. While I am in good health now, I find I have an ongoing need for peace in my life.
One morning in my living room Gina picked up my guitar and wrote "Some Peace Again." I was deeply touched by the song and the idea behind it. On September 19, 2003 I went into Beth Israel Hospital in Boston, MA. for open-heart surgery. On that same day Gina began to record her second CD Some Peace Again. We felt that there was no coincidence in the timing of these two events. As she continued to record and I recovered, we began to discuss finding peace amidst life's difficulties and sorrows. The idea of reaching out to the 'community of the suffering' deeply moved us. Since we all join this community at some time in our lives, we feel Some Peace Again will always have someone to touch.
I hope as well that you can benefit from what I have been through. It is my sincere hope that you find real peace in your life; a peace that lasts. It is with great joy that I embark on this journey with you as a 'traveling companion.'
Victoria had been the Director of Women's Ministries, and a worship leader with the Association of Vineyard Churches for the last 8 years. She and her husband Ron have joined Gina in starting up The Wellesley Vineyard in Wellesley MA. She and Ron have been married for 24 years, and have 4 beautiful children ages 13-22.